By the time you read this letter I will be far away. I preferred it that way. I think it hurts less. Even though I know it might still hurt for a while. Because it was all very strong!
You know, I felt something different since the first time we met. Or rather, that I saw you… Because I don’t even know if you noticed me. You, so important, so known, so dear to everyone. Me, still that little wild animal. It was a quick look, sort of in passing, but it was so overwhelming that deep down I started to think that one day we would be together.
Years later we got to know each other better. Three intense days and it was like I already knew you. I know I’ve told you a thousand times, but I always like to tell you: you were my passion since I was a child, I dreamed of it when I didn’t even know what it was possible to dream about. So every corner, every point, everything felt intimate, familiar. Everything made me feel good. As if it had already happened in another life – but, possibly, it was because I had already researched a lot and read a lot about it. Apart from the songs, the soap operas, the movies. Yes, I already knew almost everything about you. And you still didn’t know anything about me.
From there we had some other meetings and we got closer. Your sea, endless beach… Yeah, Rio, everyone was saying that we were made for each other. I don’t even know if I still dreamed about it anymore, because as I got to know you, I also saw that it wouldn’t be very possible. Getting real, huh? We had and still have abysmal differences. And my life at that point was settled, everything moving forward. But it had to be. And it was.
Against everything and everyone. Because it wasn’t easy. At first, even though I was sure of what I wanted, I cried every night. And, I don’t know if you noticed, but over that time I cried many other times. Of anguish, of doubts, of joy also when looking at my life and not believing that it was real! And guilt, the one that perhaps accompanies me in all the decisions I make, for always leaving so much behind, although confident in what lies ahead.
But I was happy with you. We make a nice duo, oh if we do. I learned to deal with its heat, its humidity, the uncompromising way of its people and its crazy rains. I learned a lot about culture, about history, about samba and even about social inequalities. I learned to like daylight saving time. I learned that flip-flops can and should be used in any situation, matching the casual style. I was really your face. I became a “mineiroca”.
And there goes 10 years! If I had to sum it all up in one word, I would say THANK YOU. Thank you for welcoming me, for always being so generous to me, for all the opportunities you gave me, for all the beauties and people you put in my path, for showing me that it is possible, for making me a stronger, more braver and freer. It was very good to live (in) that other happy dream of a city – which I learned, as the song of its “rival” says, to quickly call reality.
And allow me to use a cliché here, but it’s none of your business. It is me. It was none of your problems that were so publicized around the four corners, but against which I myself have always defended you and will continue to defend you. Because this was all nothing compared to all the good I’ve lived with you and from you. What happened was a natural wear and tear, like any relationship. Overwhelming passions don’t usually last forever, after all.
In fact, this mania of people wanting to know what is or is not forever. And do I know? I live and I am happy. My forever is today and in that I think we hit it off. In addition, there are those pleasant memories to have and a little nostalgia that may never go away, but that will always be a good nostalgia to feel.
PS I Love You!
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